Lots of people tell you to look to your mother for her birth experiences. If she had an easy labor, you will too. They lie.
My mom had three kids with no drugs, all of us in under 4 hours from the start of labor to the baby in her arms. I was a 'birth helper', at the ripe age of 12, at my brother's birth. My mom stopped at Blockbuster on the way to the hospital. She never screamed. I only saw pain in her face when she was pushing, which lasted less than 1 hour.
This was one of the reasons I decided to go for a natural birth. My husband and I researched and read and watched DVDs. I downloaded hypnobirthing tracks on my iPod. We practiced massage and meditation. We hired a doula who specialized in physical movements to encourage natural birth. We were not only going to have a natural birth, we were going to get an A+ in natural birth!
Then it happened... not once, but three times. My labor started three times, over the course of two weeks, before my little angel decided to finally come out and meet us. The first time, we even went to the doctor, who confirmed I was dilating and in labor. "Go home, take a long walk, relax, and I'll see you later tonight." Then, after 12 hours of regular contractions, they stopped. No baby, no dramatic water breaking like they show in the movies.
Exactly one week later, the same thing happened... This time, we tried accupressure points and a circuit to reposition the baby to get labor moving. All to no avail. The contractions stopped again after 5 hours. And I cried and cried. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I give birth to our baby? Am I going to have a c-section? Will she ever arrive?!
Two days later, the contractions started again. They were real and regular, but so were they the last two times. I busied myself around the house and listened to my favorite slow jams. Then, within an hour, they were four minutes apart.... Whoa! Now I think it's time to go to the hospital. We packed up the car. I was in pain, but I was a natural birth pro. I can do this all day long!
Be careful what you wish for. I DID do it all day long....
After 12 hours, I was only slowly progressing. I had made it to 6cm and felt great, but how long would that last? The midwife at our hospital suggested we break my water to speed things up.
Immediately, my contractions went from strong to UNBEARABLE and UNRELENTING. They say you get a break between contractions. I did not. And that lasted for 9 hours. We walked, we tried massage. I swayed and sat on the yoga ball. Nothing put more than a slight dent in this unbearable pain.... And now, I've gone 36 hours without sleep and I'm completely exhausted. I asked for something to dull the pain and received a shot of Fentanyl. It was a sweet relief. I got 20 minutes of sleep! I could still feel the contractions, but I was able to rest!
Over the next three hours, I got two more shots and I had made it to 8cm. Progress, but still slow progress. I didn't think I could make it any longer. I asked for an epidural. By this point, I had gone through 23 hours of real labor, 6 of which felt like walking through the center of hell. I had a total of 60 minutes of relief from the Fentanyl, but that had worn off. I gave up. I needed sleep. I needed relief. I needed an epidural. Screw all the hypnobirthing and massage. Give me the drugs!
By the time the anesthesiologist arrived and had me sign all the paperwork, my doula asked the nurse to check me one more time. It had only been an hour since the last check. I was expecting to still be at 8 or 8.5. I was at 10! They told me I could start pushing. Did I still want the epidural??
"Hell no! Let's do this!" After all, my Mom had pushed for less than an hour. I can make it that long. I had a renewed energy. I had made it through the toughest part, right?! Mostly right.
After three hours of pushing, including 1 hour of crowning, my (not so little) baby made her grand appearance. She was a whopping 9 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long (the size of a 1 month old baby).
So, did we get an A+ in natural birth? Likely not, although I'm not sure who grades us. I did learn a few things though:
1) My mom is a freak of nature. Who does that?!
2) My body can take a lot more than I thought it could
3) Birth hurts; It's tough as hell and no amount of preparation will make you immune. But, in the end, you get a beautiful baby and you mostly forget the pain.
My mom had three kids with no drugs, all of us in under 4 hours from the start of labor to the baby in her arms. I was a 'birth helper', at the ripe age of 12, at my brother's birth. My mom stopped at Blockbuster on the way to the hospital. She never screamed. I only saw pain in her face when she was pushing, which lasted less than 1 hour.
This was one of the reasons I decided to go for a natural birth. My husband and I researched and read and watched DVDs. I downloaded hypnobirthing tracks on my iPod. We practiced massage and meditation. We hired a doula who specialized in physical movements to encourage natural birth. We were not only going to have a natural birth, we were going to get an A+ in natural birth!
Then it happened... not once, but three times. My labor started three times, over the course of two weeks, before my little angel decided to finally come out and meet us. The first time, we even went to the doctor, who confirmed I was dilating and in labor. "Go home, take a long walk, relax, and I'll see you later tonight." Then, after 12 hours of regular contractions, they stopped. No baby, no dramatic water breaking like they show in the movies.
Exactly one week later, the same thing happened... This time, we tried accupressure points and a circuit to reposition the baby to get labor moving. All to no avail. The contractions stopped again after 5 hours. And I cried and cried. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I give birth to our baby? Am I going to have a c-section? Will she ever arrive?!
Two days later, the contractions started again. They were real and regular, but so were they the last two times. I busied myself around the house and listened to my favorite slow jams. Then, within an hour, they were four minutes apart.... Whoa! Now I think it's time to go to the hospital. We packed up the car. I was in pain, but I was a natural birth pro. I can do this all day long!
Be careful what you wish for. I DID do it all day long....
After 12 hours, I was only slowly progressing. I had made it to 6cm and felt great, but how long would that last? The midwife at our hospital suggested we break my water to speed things up.
Immediately, my contractions went from strong to UNBEARABLE and UNRELENTING. They say you get a break between contractions. I did not. And that lasted for 9 hours. We walked, we tried massage. I swayed and sat on the yoga ball. Nothing put more than a slight dent in this unbearable pain.... And now, I've gone 36 hours without sleep and I'm completely exhausted. I asked for something to dull the pain and received a shot of Fentanyl. It was a sweet relief. I got 20 minutes of sleep! I could still feel the contractions, but I was able to rest!
Over the next three hours, I got two more shots and I had made it to 8cm. Progress, but still slow progress. I didn't think I could make it any longer. I asked for an epidural. By this point, I had gone through 23 hours of real labor, 6 of which felt like walking through the center of hell. I had a total of 60 minutes of relief from the Fentanyl, but that had worn off. I gave up. I needed sleep. I needed relief. I needed an epidural. Screw all the hypnobirthing and massage. Give me the drugs!
By the time the anesthesiologist arrived and had me sign all the paperwork, my doula asked the nurse to check me one more time. It had only been an hour since the last check. I was expecting to still be at 8 or 8.5. I was at 10! They told me I could start pushing. Did I still want the epidural??
"Hell no! Let's do this!" After all, my Mom had pushed for less than an hour. I can make it that long. I had a renewed energy. I had made it through the toughest part, right?! Mostly right.
After three hours of pushing, including 1 hour of crowning, my (not so little) baby made her grand appearance. She was a whopping 9 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long (the size of a 1 month old baby).
So, did we get an A+ in natural birth? Likely not, although I'm not sure who grades us. I did learn a few things though:
1) My mom is a freak of nature. Who does that?!
2) My body can take a lot more than I thought it could
3) Birth hurts; It's tough as hell and no amount of preparation will make you immune. But, in the end, you get a beautiful baby and you mostly forget the pain.
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