Nipple Shields.... Fawn or Foe?

It's such a harmless little thing. You might use it to protect yourself during those first few weeks of breastfeeding when it feels like your little Chicken Nugget is just going to rip your nipples right off with every latch, or you might, like me, use it because your little Chicken Nugget refuses to open her mouth wide enough to get a proper latch.

In the hospital, I met with a lactation consultant for pretty much every feeding session with our little girl. She would only latch very shallowly, which causes a lot of pain and is not extremely effective. At first we suspected my right nipple of being a little flat, but then we realized that Chicken Nugget was putting her tongue on the roof of her mouth and barely opening it when she wanted to eat. The LC recommended 'training' her by putting my finger in her mouth, but that grows pretty old when you have a hungry baby who cannot eat.... So, she suggested I try a nipple shield. It was like magic! I used that little shield to pry her mouth open wider and push her tongue down. She fed like a dream baby. We were cured.... Sort of.

After a few weeks of trying to 'train' her to open wide, I realized that I was only training her to use the shield. And finally, we pretty much gave up on breastfeeding without it. Of course, I would try to get her latched a few times a week without the shield, but she would always get so frustrated. Friends and websites suggested that I try to remove it mid-feed and get her to latch. That never worked. She still got frustrated. I tried these methods for 4 months, to no avail.... We're still stuck on this little shield.

I heard from other moms who successfully breastfed on a nipple shield for 6 months, 12 months, 18 months and I felt OK about it. Then I heard from one mom who's son was not gaining weight fast enough and once she got him off the shield, he chunked right up.... That perked my ears up. Our little Chicken Nugget was in the 95% percentile for weight when she was born and by month 4 had gone down to 50% percentile. She was gaining, but slowly. She is still in the 87% percentile for height, so the doctor was not concerned. But, in the back of my mind, I wondered if the shield was somehow affecting how much she was eating.

I got my resolution back. I was determined to get her off this thing. Besides, it was a pain in the @$$ to carry around whenever we left the house and it had gotten 'lost' on several occasions, causing a minor panic attack on my part, thinking that she would starve to death without it. One of the best things about breastfeeding is that you don't need any equipment or preparation.... unless you are me and Chicken Nugget.

Instead of trying a few times a week to get her off the shield, I tried at every feeding, twice. At the beginning and in the middle. Finally, at 4.5 months, she latched without it! On the first try! Then on the next feeding, she did it again! And again! It was a sudden thing. One time, she was frustrated and wouldn't latch, the next time she was fine without it! It was a miracle!

I thought it was a miracle until the next day. After 5 feedings with no shield, my nipples were raw and cracked. Now I understood why moms use them for protection. But, I was determined to not use the shield again. I expressed breast milk on my nipples, let them air dry, then applied coconut oil or lanolin.  I think the pain was partly my sensitivity, partly her still latching a little shallowly.

We're a week and a half off the shield and I can honestly say that she's latching better and better every day and I'm less and less sore every day.

Moral of the story: If you're stuck on a nipple shield and want to get off, keep trying! Don't give up! It can take a long time, but maybe, just maybe you'll have a little mini miracle one day.

American Airlines and why I'm a newly found breastfeeding evangelist

I tend to live my life in a happy place. I believe people are generally good and we should be supportive of each other. I also believe that there are as many parenting techniques as there are people in this world and so far, no one has -proven- one to be right. So, to each his own.

But, every once in a while I find something so egregiously offensive, that I have to stand up for what is right. So, here I go.

In a nut shell, a mom was, in her opinion, discreetly nursing her infant during take off (what most airlines and travel experts recommend to help with ear pain) when she was treated pretty badly by a flight attendant. The flight attendant asked her to cover up, even though she was sitting in a window seat and no one around her even noticed she was nursing, much less seemed upset by it. When she refused to cover, the flight attendant took it upon herself to move the girl who was sitting in the aisle seat and refused to make eye contact with, or serve the nursing mom. The nursing mom proceeded to complain to American Airlines and received this letter in response:

First of all, I get very angry when someone gives you a backhanded apology... like "I'm so sorry. Truly sorry for my actions.... but you were wrong and I was justified." But, even more anger provoking is that we live in a society where feeding a baby is ever considered offensive.

I don't know where you live, but where I live, it's widely understood that "Breast is Best", meaning breast milk is the best and most nutritious source of food for a baby. As a nursing mom, I can promise you that I am never breastfeeding my baby in an effort to offend you. I am breastfeeding my baby in an effort to feed my baby. She's hungry. Oh, and if we're on a flight, I'm actually doing the opposite of trying to offend you. I'm trying to keep her from screaming because her ears are hurting and she doesn't know how to pop them. She's too young to chew gum and too young to know how to hold her nose and pop her ears, or whatever trick you use. She knows how to suck. Or scream. It's about as simple as that.

And sure, it sounds easy to put a cover on, but have you ever tried to maneuver your laptop bag out from under the seat in front of you and found that difficult? How about doing that during take off, with a screaming baby in your lap. Not so easy. Nursing covers are also hot and distracting for babies. Sometimes my little girl won't even latch when she's covered. So, again, I promise you that when I'm breastfeeding my baby, I'm never trying to offend you. I'm only trying to feed my baby.

But, all of this still begs the question: Why on earth is breastfeeding offensive to anyone?! It's the most natural of feeding techniques and the most healthy for baby and mom. 100 years ago, we didn't have baby formula. Everyone had to breastfeed, or find a wet nurse to feed their babies. It's absolutely amazing that we now have alternatives like formula, but when did that become less offensive and more normal?

I'm all for choices in parenting and I know not everyone is successful at breastfeeding, or even able to try. But, I really want to wake up one day in a world where "because it's offensive / weird / inconvenient / socially unacceptable / etc" is NOT a reason to choose formula.

Shame on you, American Airlines for perpetuating this myth that breastfeeding is offensive. Breastfeeding is hard enough without you making nursing moms feel ashamed about it too.