Breastfeeding Myths

There is a lot of mis-information out there about breastfeeding. Some people are critical, some are optimistic. I like to give it to you real. As real as it is for us. And hopefully I'll expel a few myths I heard before I started breastfeeding.

The Myths:

1. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong

Sometimes that is true. Chicken Nugget and I had some serious latch problems in the beginning. But, sometimes your nipples just hurt. Chicken's latch is AWESOME now, like totally textbook, but sometimes she'll suck too hard or nurse constantly for days on end or do marathon nursing sessions of 1+ hours. During those times, breastfeeding hurts. It also hurt when we first got her off the nipple shield. Coconut oil and breast milk on the nipples helps, but sometimes it just hurts.

2. It's natural (aka easy)

Um. No. Not in my experience. It took Chicken Nugget and I a nipple shield and a full 3 months to get good at this, 4 months to get really good at it and get rid of the shield. And even at 6 months, we have good days and bad days. We've been through two nursing strikes, nipple pain, sleepless nights, etc etc. There were serious times when I considered giving up in the first few months.

3. It's personal

NO! Don't let it be personal. If you have any of the struggles that we had, you NEED support. You need a network of other nursing moms to give you advice, to pick you up and to keep you going. You need lactation consultants and supportive pediatricians. Ask for help when you need it! Don't be embarrassed. Don't give up because you think you're doing it wrong.

4. It's too hard to maintain when you go back to work

A lot of moms struggle with going back to work for a lot of reasons. Pumping at work can just add to the stress of going back to work. But, it's possible! You job HAS to provide you adequate time to pump at work. There are Federal Pumping Laws in place to protect this right. And they can NOT make you use a bathroom (gross!).
I know, even though you have the right, it's still nearly impossible to break away from meetings to go pump. And can be embarrassing to ask for accommodations, but you would be so surprised by the humanity you find in others when you ask.
I'm a manager at a large company and my day is mostly comprised of meeting after meeting. I have to literally block off three 30 minute slots on my calendar for pumping. I'll take conference calls during that time (Invest in a hands free pumping bra. It's a lifesaver.), or push it forward or back by 30 minutes, but I will not cancel a pumping session for a meeting. This is my child's source of nutrition. That's a line I won't cross. I like to think I'm setting a precedent for my employees. Maybe I'm pissing my boss off.... but who knows. She'll never tell. Because there are laws in place to protect us from that.
Offsite or all day meetings can be especially challenging or embarrassing to excuse yourself from. But, I promise, it's worth it. I ask every offsite location for a room to pump and every one has accommodated. Some provide better accommodations than others (DoubleTree gave me an actual guest room), some not so great (a local restaurant put me in an open banquet room that kitchen staff walked through twice.... *sigh*). If you're not going to be in your regular location, bring some extra supplies with you: paper towels & a nursing cover are super clutch.

5. If your baby wakes up at night / is fussy / is gassy / has jaundice you should give formula

Your breast milk is literally the best thing for your baby. After 50 years of trying, formula is still not as good. It will not make your baby sleep better (Breast Milk vs Formula) and provides none of the crazy immune benefits of breast milk. Some around you will try to tell you otherwise, but you know better.


Look, breastfeeding is not always easy or painless or totally convenient (see section 4). It's also not fun to have these sometimes saggy, sometimes engorged, leaking breasts attached to you at all times. But, breast milk is the absolute best source of nutrition for your baby. And if you give it up, your body will stop producing it. So, muscle it out with me. Find a network of moms to support you. See a lactation consultant. Cry in the shower (been there, sister). Come into this journey with your eyes wide open and your goal in mind. Find whatever it is that will help you reach that goal (determination, muscle, love, health, piss & vinegar.... whatever works). Don't be afraid or ashamed if it doesn't come as easily as you thought.

And finally, don't beat yourself up if you give up. You're doing your best!

The Evolution of this Crunchy Mama

Ok... Here it goes... I am finally ready to admit it.... I'm a crunchy mama.

I never thought I'd be this way, I swear! But, here I am in the middle of month 5 and I LOVE cloth diapers and baby wearing and breast feeding and natural childbirth and am excited to try baby led weaning.

I came to this realization this weekend while discussing cloth diapers with a fellow mama. I'm literally obsessed. I am like a cult leader trying to bring others into the cloth cult. And I was doing this while wearing my baby in a woven wrap at the beach. And I realized it. I'm a totally hippie. A total work in a corporate job by day, breastfeed at the lake in a woven wrap by weekend mom. And I started to look back over the last five months and try to figure out when this happened...

It really happened about seven months ago when I took the day long childbirth class at our local hospital. They talked about all kinds of stuff and showed lots of videos of different birth stories (women who did it natural and women who used analgesic pain meds and women who got epidurals). And I realized I did NOT want an epidural. Women with epidurals seemed so disconnected from the birth process. They didn't feel when to push. They couldn't walk around. They just laid in bed and waited for instruction.

Look. I will NEVER knock you for getting an epidural. Shoot. If you read back to the first post here, I signed all the paperwork after 23 hours of labor and was all set for the epidural when I found out I was 10 cm and sent the anesthesiologist packing with my new found second wind. But, when I attended that birthing class, I realized that pain free was not the birth I wanted. Well, let's clarify, numb was not the birth I wanted. Unfortunately, there isn't really an in between. You can't have a 'kind of' painful birth. You either get numb or rip your body apart kind of pain.... And of those two, I wanted to feel what my body was doing. It's pretty amazing that your body opens and expands to birth a baby! It's really an awesome experience, and I didn't want to be numb for it. I chose two words to describe my ideal birth experience: Engaged & Productive.

Engaged - I am birthing my baby. The birth is not happening to me. My body made her and will help her come into the world.

Productive - everything is happening for the purpose of bringing my baby into the world. All the pain is expanding my cervix and pelvis to make way for my baby. Every contraction brings us one step closer to holding our baby. 

So, that's literally a snip of the email I sent to my doula about the kind of birth I wanted. It sounds great, huh? Well, if you read back to the first post, you'll see what actually happened. I did get an engaged and productive birth, but it was not all rose petals and singing kum ba ya. It was our birth story and it's a good one, though.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. That birthing class was really the first step. But, even after my mostly natural birth experience, I still didn't believe I was a crunchy mama.

Then at 2 months, I started a cloth diaper trial. And LOVED it. And became obsessed with doing right by my baby, my wallet and the planet.

And then at 3 months, I really started to love breastfeeding. Which was a cruel joke by the universe, since this was the same time that I went back to work. Don't get me wrong, the first 2.5 months of breastfeeding were fine, but I started out having a lot of pain. Partially because of Chicken's shallow latch and partially because I'm super sensitive. So, I mostly endured the first month of breastfeeding because I knew it was best for her. I didn't really like it that much. By month 2, I felt like I was constantly attached to this tiny human and I really needed my space! But, then as month 3 came around, we had a much better 'routine' going (that's in quotes for a reason) and we were both getting better at breastfeeding. I really started to enjoy our one-on-one time and the realization that all of her milestones (smiles, laughs, rolling over, etc) were fueled by milk that I made, with my body! That was so amazing.  

And then at 4 months, I bought my first gauze wrap and practiced some cool baby wearing wraps. And LOVED it. And so did my little Chicken Nugget. It was so much more comfortable than the Ergo or the Britax (and way cuter). 

These days, you can find me nursing this little Nugget all over town, in any restaurant, at the lake, in my house, in the back yard, while playing board games with friends, etc. I'll just remove her from her woven wrap, change her adorable cloth diaper and latch her on (with no nipple shield and maybe even without a nursing cover). So, yeah, I'm a crunchy mama.... So what?

A Tribute to Working and Pumping Mamas

When you're pregnant, you think that maintaining breastfeeding will be a no brainer, even when you return to work. Even in the first few months when you're still home, you think that pumping isn't that hard. Hell, sometimes pumping is even easier. My Medela rarely has a latch problem. And it never goes on nursing strike.

Then, you return to work. And if you're like me, you forget to talk to your boss about accommodations and just show up on the first day and find an empty conference room to use until you talk to HR. 

Thankfully, my work is super supportive. They set me up in an abandoned office a short walk from my cubicle and gave me a small personal fridge for my desk. They also give me as many breaks as I need. My setup is totally hands free, so I'm able to work and check emails while being milked like a cow. But, it's still a hassle. I've had to turn down meetings or leave 3 times in the middle of all day team building activities. I have to warn everyone that "I'm a nursing mom" and may have to take a break while we're discussing this super important project. And that's just the scheduling part. That's not the worst part.

The worst part is stripping down in some random conference room or office and hooking yourself up to be milked. When was the last time you bared your breasts in your office? For me, it was 15 times last week... And it will be 15 times this week. And the following week. And hopefully for the next 7 months until Chicken Nugget turns 1.

At work, I've never been walked in on. But, at a recent offsite meeting, that happened twice. There is literally nothing more compromising than being caught in this position. I have no issue with people seeing me breast feed, but there's something so bovine about being hooked up to this machine. It is not in any way professional or even motherly looking. It's just weird and embarrassing.

But, it's what I do to keep my Chicken Nugget on breast milk. It's also makes me appreciate so much the early mornings, evenings and weekends when I can put that pump away and just nurse my baby in peace.

So, here's to all the pumping moms out there! It's just one more thing we'll make our kids feel guilty about when they grow up! :)

Nipple Shields.... Fawn or Foe?

It's such a harmless little thing. You might use it to protect yourself during those first few weeks of breastfeeding when it feels like your little Chicken Nugget is just going to rip your nipples right off with every latch, or you might, like me, use it because your little Chicken Nugget refuses to open her mouth wide enough to get a proper latch.

In the hospital, I met with a lactation consultant for pretty much every feeding session with our little girl. She would only latch very shallowly, which causes a lot of pain and is not extremely effective. At first we suspected my right nipple of being a little flat, but then we realized that Chicken Nugget was putting her tongue on the roof of her mouth and barely opening it when she wanted to eat. The LC recommended 'training' her by putting my finger in her mouth, but that grows pretty old when you have a hungry baby who cannot eat.... So, she suggested I try a nipple shield. It was like magic! I used that little shield to pry her mouth open wider and push her tongue down. She fed like a dream baby. We were cured.... Sort of.

After a few weeks of trying to 'train' her to open wide, I realized that I was only training her to use the shield. And finally, we pretty much gave up on breastfeeding without it. Of course, I would try to get her latched a few times a week without the shield, but she would always get so frustrated. Friends and websites suggested that I try to remove it mid-feed and get her to latch. That never worked. She still got frustrated. I tried these methods for 4 months, to no avail.... We're still stuck on this little shield.

I heard from other moms who successfully breastfed on a nipple shield for 6 months, 12 months, 18 months and I felt OK about it. Then I heard from one mom who's son was not gaining weight fast enough and once she got him off the shield, he chunked right up.... That perked my ears up. Our little Chicken Nugget was in the 95% percentile for weight when she was born and by month 4 had gone down to 50% percentile. She was gaining, but slowly. She is still in the 87% percentile for height, so the doctor was not concerned. But, in the back of my mind, I wondered if the shield was somehow affecting how much she was eating.

I got my resolution back. I was determined to get her off this thing. Besides, it was a pain in the @$$ to carry around whenever we left the house and it had gotten 'lost' on several occasions, causing a minor panic attack on my part, thinking that she would starve to death without it. One of the best things about breastfeeding is that you don't need any equipment or preparation.... unless you are me and Chicken Nugget.

Instead of trying a few times a week to get her off the shield, I tried at every feeding, twice. At the beginning and in the middle. Finally, at 4.5 months, she latched without it! On the first try! Then on the next feeding, she did it again! And again! It was a sudden thing. One time, she was frustrated and wouldn't latch, the next time she was fine without it! It was a miracle!

I thought it was a miracle until the next day. After 5 feedings with no shield, my nipples were raw and cracked. Now I understood why moms use them for protection. But, I was determined to not use the shield again. I expressed breast milk on my nipples, let them air dry, then applied coconut oil or lanolin.  I think the pain was partly my sensitivity, partly her still latching a little shallowly.

We're a week and a half off the shield and I can honestly say that she's latching better and better every day and I'm less and less sore every day.

Moral of the story: If you're stuck on a nipple shield and want to get off, keep trying! Don't give up! It can take a long time, but maybe, just maybe you'll have a little mini miracle one day.

American Airlines and why I'm a newly found breastfeeding evangelist

I tend to live my life in a happy place. I believe people are generally good and we should be supportive of each other. I also believe that there are as many parenting techniques as there are people in this world and so far, no one has -proven- one to be right. So, to each his own.

But, every once in a while I find something so egregiously offensive, that I have to stand up for what is right. So, here I go.

In a nut shell, a mom was, in her opinion, discreetly nursing her infant during take off (what most airlines and travel experts recommend to help with ear pain) when she was treated pretty badly by a flight attendant. The flight attendant asked her to cover up, even though she was sitting in a window seat and no one around her even noticed she was nursing, much less seemed upset by it. When she refused to cover, the flight attendant took it upon herself to move the girl who was sitting in the aisle seat and refused to make eye contact with, or serve the nursing mom. The nursing mom proceeded to complain to American Airlines and received this letter in response:

First of all, I get very angry when someone gives you a backhanded apology... like "I'm so sorry. Truly sorry for my actions.... but you were wrong and I was justified." But, even more anger provoking is that we live in a society where feeding a baby is ever considered offensive.

I don't know where you live, but where I live, it's widely understood that "Breast is Best", meaning breast milk is the best and most nutritious source of food for a baby. As a nursing mom, I can promise you that I am never breastfeeding my baby in an effort to offend you. I am breastfeeding my baby in an effort to feed my baby. She's hungry. Oh, and if we're on a flight, I'm actually doing the opposite of trying to offend you. I'm trying to keep her from screaming because her ears are hurting and she doesn't know how to pop them. She's too young to chew gum and too young to know how to hold her nose and pop her ears, or whatever trick you use. She knows how to suck. Or scream. It's about as simple as that.

And sure, it sounds easy to put a cover on, but have you ever tried to maneuver your laptop bag out from under the seat in front of you and found that difficult? How about doing that during take off, with a screaming baby in your lap. Not so easy. Nursing covers are also hot and distracting for babies. Sometimes my little girl won't even latch when she's covered. So, again, I promise you that when I'm breastfeeding my baby, I'm never trying to offend you. I'm only trying to feed my baby.

But, all of this still begs the question: Why on earth is breastfeeding offensive to anyone?! It's the most natural of feeding techniques and the most healthy for baby and mom. 100 years ago, we didn't have baby formula. Everyone had to breastfeed, or find a wet nurse to feed their babies. It's absolutely amazing that we now have alternatives like formula, but when did that become less offensive and more normal?

I'm all for choices in parenting and I know not everyone is successful at breastfeeding, or even able to try. But, I really want to wake up one day in a world where "because it's offensive / weird / inconvenient / socially unacceptable / etc" is NOT a reason to choose formula.

Shame on you, American Airlines for perpetuating this myth that breastfeeding is offensive. Breastfeeding is hard enough without you making nursing moms feel ashamed about it too.